When she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary and told her privately, “The Teacher is here and is calling for you.” And when she heard it, she got up quickly and went to him. Now Jesus had not yet come to the village but was still at the place where Martha had met him. The Jews who were with her in the house consoling her saw Mary get up quickly and go out. They followed her because they thought that she was going to the tomb to weep there. When Mary came where Jesus was and saw him, she knelt at his feet and said to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved. He said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus began to weep. So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”
Then Jesus, again greatly disturbed, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone was lying against it. Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, “Lord, already there is a stench because he has been dead four days.” Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” So they took away the stone. And Jesus looked upward and said, “Father, I thank you for having heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I have said this for the sake of the crowd standing here, so that they may believe that you sent me.” When he had said this, he cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth and his face wrapped in a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.”
John 11:28-44 NRSVUE
What would you negotiate with God for someone you love not to die or extend their life? Or perhaps your life? What would you say or negotiate to extend your own life if ever you find yourself facing death’s door? Or will you be peacefully willing to go?
In our story today, Jesus raises Lazarus who has been dead for 4 days. May amoy na nga sabi nung mga tao. The people suddenly witnessesed not a ghost but someone who was dead but now alive. Medyo sinisisi pa ni Martha si Jesus kung bakit namatay kapatid nyang si Lazarus. If only you have been here earlier teacher my brother wouldn’t have died. Kung nandito ka lang ng mas maaga, edi sana hindi namatay ang kapatid ko. Asan ka ba? Ano bang pinaggagagawa mo? Hindi bat siya yung iniibig mo? Is he not the one whom you love?
It is also in this story that we hear that Jesus weeps. Tumangis. Humagulgol. Nagluksa.
Many churches almost always focus on the fact that Lazarus literally rose from the dead because of Jesus. And rightfully so, this is the first obvious thing about this story. This is also the final and most dramatic sign of power that points to the messianic identity of Jesus. What is mentioned as miracles in the gospel of John are not called miracles but rather they are called as “signs”. Signs that point to something. In this case, the miraculous signs in the gospel of John points to who Jesus is, the messiah, the son of God and someone who is also God. In the gospel of John this is the last and most dramatic sign before the last supper and his arrest. And here, the sign points to Jesus as the resurrection. Si Hesus ang muling pagkabuhay.
However, in favor of resurrection and the triumph of life, many Christian fail what the story also tries to say in subtle ways. That while Jesus is the resurrection, there is no resurrection without passing through suffering and death. That even with Jesus, death still comes for him, his followers, and for all of us. And not just death, pain, suffering, and grief abounds. Lazarus still died even though he was the beloved of Jesus as per the gospel of John. In the verses prior to our story today, bago sila makarating sa bahay nila Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, in verse 16, “Thomas, who was called the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”
The fact is even after the resurrection of Lazarus, indeed, Jesus was taken, tortured, and then crucified, and died. It is good to assume that Lazarus also later died. All the apostles died. Paul, who claims to be the apostle to the gentiles also died. Fr. Richard Mickley and Pastor Egay who loved, served, and believed in God with all their hearts, died. When we visited Fr Richard a week before he passed away, he was sleeping and he was listening to the Roman Catholic Mass. To the last breath, Fr. Richard placed his hope and comfort in the Eucharist. Pastor Egay had a simple yet genuine faith that fueled his pastoral ministry and his kindness towards all. Kuya Michale Mia, a pentecostal, believed and proclaimed Jesus Christ and his unconditional love. Nonetheless, they all DIED. They passed away. They took the final bow. Jesus never said that we will never have to face death and the suffering that goes with it. Jesus never said that we will never have to weep and grieve our friends and family who dies before us. Siya mismo sa story natin today, wept. The promise is that when we die, there is life beyond. There is resurrection. Now, we do not know what life-beyond would be and how it would be. We do not have any objective and scientific facts if there is really life beyond death. On that matter, I welcome the uncertainty and the mystery of what is beyond death. I think, it does us good not to know if there is life beyond death and on reverse, human civilization will collapse if we suddenly found out objectively and factually, either there is life beyond death or there is no life beyond death. I welcome and mystery and the uncertainty of death. I can only trust that my own Christian tradition speaks about a whole different life beyond, which is a life with God and within God. Some buddhist traditions would tell us that we are like drops of rain water that originated from the oceans and seas. Evaporated into the heavens and then condensed to be born as rain water that fell from the skies. Droplets of water that would travel on landscapes, rivers, and streams until finally finds its way back into the ocean and becomes one with it once more.
But really and ultimately, we do not know what happens beyond the doors of death. The only certainty we know is that each one of us will meet death and pass through her doors literally, figuratively, and poetically. Rich and poor will die. Althought it is the poor that die and suffer more nad often. Tyrants and dictators will die one day. Left, right, center, progressive, moderate, conservative are all going to die one day. This is also why we have lent and why the beginning of lent – ash Wednesday – reminds all of us that we will all die one day. This is the wisdom of following the liturgical calendar and acknowledging the cycles of life, human experiences, and human emotions which includes death, suffering, sorrow, and grief. We are an Easter people, the children of the resurrection but our resurrection is always framed by the fulness of life which includes tragedies and certainly death. As Easter people, we are asked to face all tragedies including death because of our hope and promise that though we die, our life never truly ends but only returns to the same ocean we call God.
Again, we do not know exactly what happens to us after we die. A lot of people and brilliant theologians and church denominations have something to say about it and will argue using biblical passages. Will even argue using Jesus and the words of Jesus. But one thing I would like to offer is that perhaps another way to live beyond death like Lazarus and the other Apostles, and the early Christians is for us to live out our faith the same way they did so that like them, though dead, we are still remembered and we live-on through the stories told about us hundreds or thousands of years from now. And compared to them, mas maaalala tayo ngayon because we have the technology where our voices and our faces are recorded, kept, and distributed widely. Through AI and CGI, pwede mo na nga irecreare into film ang isang patay, physical features and voice as if they were alive.
Kung ating pagsusumikapan ang ating buhay na puno ng pananampalataya, pag-ibig, paglilingkod, at tapang na ipaglaban ang ating queer community, tulad kung paano si Hesus at ang kanyang mga unang disipoles, tayo ay mabubuhay namang muli sa mga kwento at aral na pag-uusapan at ibabahagi ng mga susunod na henerasyon. We will be reesurrected and live on in the ongoing story of the church, the body of Christ and in the continuing conversation of faith and belief.
Perhaps to live on is to be counted with the great cloud of witnesses or the communion of saints. Mapabilang sa dakilang lupon at samahan ng mga banal, propeta at mga santo’t santa na ang buhay ay inialay para iba at mga aba. Like Jesus and through Jesus, we live-on because we offered our lives to love and serve others, and therefore, our stories matter. We become part of the ongoing story of Jesus and our lives proclaim Jesus. Na nung nabubuhay pa tayo without even thinking about it, tayo ay taus pusong naglingkod at nagmahal sa ating kapwa sa pamamagitan ng isang mumunting komunidad na Open Table MCC. Tulad nilang mga first century Christians, they were also small insignficant communities persecuted by the Roman Empire. We can only live beyond death, if we start living today in the fullness of love and service for others within the context of a missional community such as Open Table MCC.
We are queer and progressive Christians. We are the children of the resurrection in and through Jesus Christ but we will never avoid all the shit of this world. Thomas even invites us to come and die with Jesus. We will never escape and circumvent death. She will meet us somewhere, someday or soon. I just hope and pray, I have lived, loved, and served worthy to enter the halls of my queer ancestors and there be counted and named.
Counted and named with our queers ancestors, just maybe, perhaps, a thousand years from now when generations will be talking and preaching about Jesus, they will also talk and preach about Open Table MCC – About Jack, Kakay, and Joseph. About JT, the admin together with Josh, Charles, Austhin, and Dale, yung mga ingat yaman. When they preach and teach about Jesus, they will read about Allie and Danjo, and about RD na dating JW or si Rix at Jeb na naging magulang sa mga queer children, or paanong yung magkakapatid na straight ay nasumpungan ang Diyos sa simbahan ng mga accla. Hundreds or thousands of years from now, when they are talking about Jesus I hope they will be talking from the letter of Joseph to the church in Aurora who later moved to Annapolis and how the church of outcasts struggled to include neurdivergent people. How the church in Annapolis struggled to live by and practice grace with each other. I hope and pray, they will read and learn how those who were dead and closseted inside tombs were actually God’s beloved and were raised up and told to come out of their graves into the fullness of life. And hopefully, kung totoo mang may buhay beyond this life, we will see each other gathered together in that great rainbow cloud nagchichismisan and watching over the next generation of queer and progressive Christians. Hindi tayo sure dyan pero sa pangalan ni Hesus, Sya nawa. Amen.
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