You will never find love and the joy in anyone and in anything unless you are able to love you for you; unless you are able to be happy by your own. Nor will you be able to effectively love another person if such love and joy is not present in your own life.
Seeking love and happiness outside yourself is a valid human longing yet it is bound to fail.
Often than not, if you seek such love and joy leads you towards abusive or neglectful relationships., making you all the more wanting, longing and ever chasing for true love and lasting happiness.
Perhaps to some it is necessary to go through the experiences and motions in order to learn, grow and realize the truth that true love and lasting happiness begins with you. No one else, no where else.
Only the souls, both loved and content by themselves can come together to forge a relationship that is truly loving and joyful.